1. |
Bridge to Nowhere
05:00
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The sun is high and scorching the chaparral
Nothing is moving but this lone mountain quail
Little bird, I'm lost, will you point me to the trail
Can anybody hear my call?
Is anyone out there at all?
I can’t turn back now after coming all this way
I've been going in circles, living up to every cliche
And it's getting late and I'm running out of day
Can anybody hear my call?
Is anyone out there at all?
And there it is at last in its captivating beauty
Gleaming in the sun like costume jewelry
Buckwheat and sage on one side,
Locoweed on the other
The entire expanse of our journey
I finally came upon the Bridge to Nowhere
Many times I strayed yet somehow I made it there
I would've liked to stay but I had no time to spare
Can anybody hear my call?
Is anyone out there at all?
And there it is at last in its captivating beauty
Gleaming in the sun like costume jewelry
Buckwheat and sage on one side,
Locoweed on the other
The entire expanse of our journey
And there it is at last...
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2. |
Burn
06:20
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I'm walking through the ruins of the Cold War
Looking for a new pair of jeans
I cut a crooked path from Walmart to Target
As an approaching siren keens
The ash is scattering like snow-globe glitter
Summer fire season's already here
There's the howl and bellow of the engine horns
And then the flames suddenly appear
Watching it burn
Watching the inside turn
From the smoke and the flame
What's rebirthed will never return quite the same
And it's such a beautiful, beautiful shame
This Staples here is where they used to build
The SR71 Blackbird
It could easily do Mach 3.2
And fly so high that it couldn't be heard
I mention this to the cashier as she
Directs me to Aisle 7C
She looks at me for the first and the only time
And says, "Sounds like your bird was pretty."
Watching it burn
Watching the embers churn
What will be erased
Won't be reconjured and won't be replaced
And it's such a terrible, terrible waste
The smoke-filled sky is all the colors of violence
Murder-red, bruise-plum and drown-blue
The radio is playing an old-timey tune
That first came out in 1992
They're all out of the printer ink I need
And now I'm running as if for my life
The helicopters are circling overhead and
I just want to get home to my kids and my wife
Before it all burns
Before the inside turns
Before it disappears
Like a melody that floats past your ears
One you haven't heard in so many years
My grandmother's uncle was a Berlin doctor
On the wrong side of a genocide
After dinner he pulled his wife close
And they both ate cake laced with cyanide
I'm putting every scrap, every photograph,
Every memento I've got into this box
I take a match to it and I watch it burn
And smile just as big as Goldilocks
Watching it burn
Watching the inside turn
From the smoke and the flame
What's reborn will never come back quite the same
And it's such a beautiful, beautiful shame
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3. |
Burbank
03:45
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The suburbs fucked us up
I licked the crumbs up like a pup
The sadists spilled their Bud Lites
Right into my outstretched empty cup
We drank to classic rock
Enough to fill a Scottish loch
But who's counting
We were just fifteen years old
The future's hand lay dead and cold
Some of those guys did prison time
And some are wealthy now, I'm told
The math never adds up
But the years always catch up
So I stopped counting
There was a girl without a name
Without a face, without a shame
She stripped down to her skin
And treated it all just like a game
I batted last, I hit it out
To a holler, to a shout
My first and counting
When word got around at school
You know the suburbs are so cruel
This nameless, faceless girl
Was subjected to such ridicule
She left without a trace
Perhaps took a name, took a face
But I wouldn't count on it
I wonder where she is today
I wonder what she'd have to say
If I tracked her down somewhere
And asked if I could make it right some way
I hope she wouldn't know me
I hope she wouldn't show me
That it all counted
And now the day is almost done
I've spent so many on the run
You wouldn't guess but I'm as drawn
As the hammer of a gun
The truth won't set you free
The lies won't let you be
You can count on it
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4. |
Reunion
04:48
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My father is crying
Over there on the grass
If only this low-lying
Fog would just pass
Reunion
The suit that he's wearing
Came right off the shelf
And the story he's sharing
I could tell it myself
Reunion
His hair is all white now
Fine silk in the breeze
He's looking as slight now
As these deciduous trees
Reunion
I can’t take my eyes off
Of you just in case
You pull my disguise off
And see there his face
Reunion
We can't stop for long here, I'm sorry
But we want to pay our respects
Before the long drive
And we confess our sins at your bedside
Because you can only haunt us
While you're alive
There's no talking politics
With the McKenzie side
Might as well toss your olive sticks
Into the Great Divide
Reunion
We say that we love them
That we don't get to choose
We say it quite often
Though it’s probably a ruse
Reunion
If only we were strangers
With no hidden fears
With no lurking dangers
Behind dental veneers
Reunion
We know how this ends
A mock to the ambitious
We take our amends
And bury them with our last wishes
Reunion
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5. |
Area of Weakness
03:43
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I’m quick to anger and I'm slow to respond
I made a billion dollars by waving my wand
That billion dollars came and it went
Just like the flowers did, or were they ever sent?
I spent so many years thinking so much
My brain went to mush and I lost my touch
Touch, you say, yes, touch if I may
But I never once waited for consent to come my way
I’ve got an area of weakness
At least one or two
An area of weakness
But somehow I still got you
I walk too fast and I talk too loud
I'm just another lonely face in the crowd
I don't want it all, it's not about that at all
But the game is on the line, so I need the ball
I always take the biggest piece
Hell, you don’t need the extra calories
I always stretch the truth just a little bit
But I only stretch it just enough so all my lies can fit
I’ve got an area of weakness
Maybe more than a few
An area of weakness
But through thick and thin, I can count on you
I would shoot someone on the avenue
If it garnered me a rave review
I’d imprison all my enemies
If you let me do just what I please
I’d put my name up in the sky
For the benefit of all the passersby
You see, I don’t mind sharing when it suits my aim
Especially when I'm looking for someone to blame
Admitting weakness is my greatest strength
You’d see it too if you were on my wavelength
I’m so weak that I can pulverize
Any man alive who’s less than half my size
I can't make out a single word
But glasses makes me look absurd
So I stutter and slip and I spit and I spew
Anything to keep me from looking like you
I’ve got an area of weakness
At least one or two
And my area of weakness
Well, baby, it just might be you
I’ve got an area of weakness
Probably more than a few
An area of weakness
If I can admit it, then so can you
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6. |
Nightmare Inning
07:10
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It was a nightmare inning
A cool breeze was blowing
From the bleachers down
To the mound as he was throwing
"A beautiful evening"
The heads were both saying
A beautiful setting
For a beautiful beating
It was a beautiful night
Another awful outing
For Darvish, it was slipping
Away from him from
The very beginning
He didn't have his stuff
He didn't want it enough
Word was out that
He wasn't mentally tough
It was written in the dirt
The third pitch that he threw
Hung there for a few
And Springer doubled
To left right on cue
He scored on an error
Oh, the horror, the terror
I screamed that life's only
Unfair and unfairer
We were only down one
I drank Jack and Coke
Inhaled smoke after smoke
I squeezed the remote
With such force that it broke
It was only one run
But it felt more like ten
And when Bregman then scored
It felt like ten again
It was still the first inning
It was a fitting ending
To a season pretending
That last season's portents
Would not be portending
We thought we could escape it
Or at least transcend it
We thought we could blast it
Or maybe we could bend it
But we only knew what it wasn't
It's true we came out swinging
In the bottom of the inning
But everyone sensed
There'd be no winning
For the team, for our city
For there was something missing
And the nightmare inning
Was both ending and beginning
I drank another Jack and Coke
Pull him out, I was shouting
But Roberts wasn't listening
When Darvish walked McCann
To start the second inning
Then when Gonzalez doubled
And Roberts was still untroubled
I was no longer shouting
But just merely mumbled
Oh, my god, the fix is in
Was he tipping his throws
Was he tapping his toes
As he threw his pitches
To the mighty Astros
Was it something subtler
When he threw his cutter
Which usually cut
Like a knife cuts through butter
Was it written in the stars
Another nightmare inning
Even the pitcher was swinging
An RBI dribbler
Made it three to nothing
Now the face of blue murder
Stalked down the corridor
Springer again
At the top of the order
Looking like the great god of swat
"The great god of stutter"
I heard myself mutter
As he took the first ball
And then took another
I hoped he'd get hit
By an epileptic fit
I wished that he'd just
Give it up and quit
We all sensed what was coming
I didn't wish him ill
But I didn't wish him well
I wished that he'd get spun
By a dizzy spell
Or that he'd temporarily
Forget how to see
Forget how to walk
And forget how to swing
I was hoping for an intervention
Darvish was behind his man
After those two in the sand
But then he threw a strike
Which Springer let stand
The two shot the bull
Till the count was full
And though one was bluffing
They both played it cool
You can guess who was who
He looked at the bench
Then went into his stretch
I closed one eye
As he released his pitch
A fat floating fastball
Like a gift from the fall
To all the Astros fans
And to Springer most of all
Wrapped up in a bow
And he unloaded on it
He exploded on it
And it went flying over
Taylor's outstretched mitt
As he rounded the bases
Measuring his paces
You could see victory
Light up all those faces
And poor Darvish was done
There was now no question
That like a lame-duck session
The game would go on
Without any tension
We put one on the board
But don't ask me how we scored
Don't ask me unless
You want to be ignored
I drank my last Jack and Coke
To the game as it closes
To the Bonds and the Sosas
To the Shoeless Joes
And to the Peter Roses
To Mr. Bobby Euker
And to that Johnny Rocker
Here's to Satchel Paige
And Moses Walker
Fidel Castro and Marge Schott
Here's to Lefty O'Doul
And to Chief Wahoo
To the Baby Ruth floating
In the swimming pool
And to that Astros team
Who won good and clean
On that November night
Up in Chavez Ravine
Here's to a sport and a pastime
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7. |
Helix
06:47
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I am driving on Virgil Avenue
I will only find out later
That the helix of otherworldly light
Illuming much of the western sky
Is one of Elon Musk's Falcon rockets
Launched from a hundred miles up the coast
It looks so close that I comfort myself
With the thought that it's only someone's idea of a joke
Everybody has their phones out
We're all hoping this is somehow both
The defining moment of a lifetime
And just a diversion on the way home
We all leave our cars in idle
We’re staring up at the fish-looking thing
I roll down my window and ask
Just what the hell is going on but nobody responds
I was born the year Richard Nixon resigned
It was a lucky time, a lucky place
Gunsmoke had been on for 20 years
And Kronkite was still in his prime
Every wall we put up seemed built to withstand
A thermal blast from a Russian A-bomb
My parents were still married then
And the state kept lumbering on once Nixon was gone
My mom took away my cap gun
After John Lennon was shot dead
She said what is it with you boys
You’ve got all the wrong ideas in your head
By the time the Berlin Wall fell
Their marriage lay in a rubble heap
Everything got messy when
Neither side had the other to blame nor the other to keep
I am lying in the darkness
You’re next to me but I feel so alone
I know that I'm safe and warm
But I can’t shake this shiver off of my bones
I've heard all about the rocket
And Space X and Elon Musk
Still I expect to see that helix
Every day when I get off of work and drive into the dusk
I am floating on a river
Staring up at that blank slate of black
I'm thinking about the election
Which is now more than three years back
My friend Tyler said it well
When he said we’re all good and trapped
Strapped together in this tin can
Lurching up and falling fast, bracing for impact
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8. |
Cassandra Williams
03:18
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We all remember Jill Davine
And Heather Tennesley
There's no forgetting Jenny Roche
But do you remember me?
Remember how Matt Samson
Beat up Tommy Kennedy
For besmirching Heather's honor
But nobody fought for me
Someone was always asking
A question posed enviously
About prom or boys or college
But no one thought to ask me
Everybody had misgivings
When Jill left for the city
Even I wrote her a letter
Not that she remembered me
One by one the others followed,
And not just Heather and Jenny
But everyone I ever knew
Not that they'd say they knew me
I got so used to nothing
But the sound of the TV
I'd just keep on changing channels
But nothing ever changed for me
You can rationalize your idiosyncrasies
Mm-hmm, and dramatize your life
But there comes a time
Whether by point of knife
Or just the sad dull realization
That there's no coming back
And nothing to come back from
My name's Cassandra Williams
I died alone and far too young
I was the girl you never noticed
Here's my song, will it be sung?
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9. |
Pretend
04:16
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The tinnitus is up at three, it's not me
The jeans are worn at the seams, it's not me
The steering wheel's trembling but it's not me
Because if I can keep pretending
That the pit down in my belly is mending
This pit that hasn't gone away
Ever since I saw the bough was bending
Pretending that I'm not pretending
Then maybe you'll be okay
The blanket's in a cold sweat, it's not me
The car's breaking down again, it's not me
The quarterback's on his knee but it's not me
Because if we can keep pretending
That it's all going as we're intending
That God's on our side -- it's the American way --
And they'll be with us soon, the angels that he's sending
Pretending and pretending and pretending
Then maybe we'll be okay
It's the baby that's crying, it's not me
It's the joke that's getting old, it's not me
It's the peephole that's paranoid but it's not me
Because if we can keep pretending
That all is well and worth defending
That the monsters who have seized the day
Are monsters we can simply wish away
Pretending and pretending and pretending
Then maybe we'll be okay
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10. |
Home Again
07:25
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1. It's gotta be somewhere --
Behind the curtains
The cushions, the apricots --
In the box of letters
You left here. The letters
Wouldn’t fit through the slots.
(And so they're sitting there unopened…)
If I can only find my pen again
(Begin again),
I’d write a fulsome history:
We started out in a garden
Of surpassing mystery...
Now I’m wide awake at first light,
But, Nik, you didn’t come home again last night.
No, you didn’t come home again last night.
You didn't come home again,
Home again last night.
I had it in my pocket.
In my dream I always held it close to me.
I was the Lion, the Tin Man, the Scarecrow,
And you were always Dorothy.
(And now I can’t get back to Manassas…
The battles there,
The battles there still rattle there
The chandeliers.)
And you're sitting there
In your mohair and
Your diamond necklace from De Beers,
With Judy Garland’s appetite.
But, Nik, you didn’t come home again last night.
No, you didn’t come home again last night.
You didn't come home again,
Home again last night.
It was a picture
From back when we were
The picture-perfect family.
If you squint, already
You can see the wrecking ball
There, behind the tree.
(But no photograph of the wrecking…)
I'm just a child again,
So I don't see the strain
You hold inside your smile.
I'm an infant now, even younger,
And spilling out onto the tile,
While you push with all your might.
But, Nik, you didn’t come home again last night.
No, you didn’t come home again last night.
You didn't come home again,
Home again last night.
2. You know, I get deja Vu
Every time that I think of you
Every time I call out into the blue
It's such a strange feeling too
Oo-woo-oo
I got a wife now, you know
You remember Sally Jo
And two boys constantly in tow
They would surely wreck you
Oo-woo-oo
Time will tell, time will heal
Give it enough time and time will steal
Time's up now, timeout now
Time to go now
Time after time anew
Oo-woo-oo
You were robbed, you were ripped off
You were dealt a hand and you were pissed off
And if I'm being honest I admit
That I also drew from that same loaded shoe
Oo-woo-oo
But you always carried such a terrible load
As if you deciphered some terrible code
As if you knew the very moment
That it all would explode
I can see the future...
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Scott Schoenberg Los Angeles, California
Rock-and-roll music out of Los Angeles.
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